Thursday, November 19, 2009


So, Rylie has surgery in less than two weeks and every single day I find myself back at the same place. Google. Each day I come up with new words, catchphrases and medical terms to describe Rylie's condition and each day I'm dismayed at how few results I get. With a condition like infantile esotropia (strabismus) there just isn't enough out there on the internets. I do know that 1% of all healthy, full-term babies born have the condition. Wow...she's in that 1%, that's amazing. I also know that this is likely a condition that will require our careful monitoring for many years. Will she gain binocular vision? Is her eye turning back in? Will it over-correct and turn out? Does she have equal vision in both eyes? I'm so thankful that in every other aspect of her health she is perfect, but I'm coming to terms with the fact that there is no quick fix. I just wish there was online support for parents like me that want to share surgery experiences or vision therapy success. In the meantime I'll continue to visit Google each morning in the hopes that I'll come up with a new search word that will unlock the online community for infantile esotropia and I'll kiss my perfect beautiful baby and in 2 weeks I'll have to put her and my trust in the hands of her surgeon and pray like there is no tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Seven Things

Quick facts.

  1. I suck at blogging apparently. I haven't written a post in weeks. I looooove reading blogs, why can't I write them consistantly?
  2. I can't watch Intervention or The Biggest Loser without crying. Just last week I cried at a Holiday Glade candle commercial. What's wrong with me?
  3. If I'm listening to music these days, it's Christmas music. I looooove Christmas.
  4. Rylie has eye surgery on December 1st and I'm SO scare and a little excited at the same time. I'm having a hard time coming to grips with the fact that we will be dealing with her strabismus for many years. Even if we get her vision perfect, we will have to have it checked at least every six months to make sure her eyes are starting to deviate again and that another surgery won't be required. I just want her to be able to see normally. God, I love her SO much.
  5. No one can convince me that there is a better Daddy than MY Dad. He is thoughtful and caring and loves my little Buggy more than I ever imagined he could.
  6. My husband gave Buggy a bath for the first time last night and it AMAZED me. He did great. Small things like sharing bathtime duties ROCK my world.
  7. My bebe just woke that's all I have time for.

Monday, October 5, 2009

One crazy week ahead

I think it's fair to say that I'm equal parts thrilled/excited and nervous/scared about our trip to Virginia this week. On one hand I'm soooooo nervous that the 9 hour trip will be hell on wheels, that Rylie will sleep like crap the whole time and that she'll miss her naps and just be cranky 24/7. But on the other hand I can't ALL be that bad. I have to give her the benefit of the doubt and unless something is really wrong with her, she tries to be a good, sweet and content baby. I'm so excited for all the things we normally do in Virginia. The people we get to see, the little traditions we've created. I hope we just have a blast and that Rylie is better than expected. I look at Virginia through rose colored glasses because I've always been there with Jason and we always have a ridiculous good time. So I hope I can keep my rose colored glasses on when I look at it after this trip because no matter how optimistic I am, even I recognize how different and difficult vacations can be w/ an infant.

With that said, I have SO much to do. Call the place we're boarding Oliver, call the vet and get his shot record. I also have to call Emory because Rylie's eye appointment is in 2 weeks and they still haven't sent us a new patient package. They'd better still have her scheduled...we've waited more than 2 months for this appointment. Then I have to to Target and get some trip essentials and oh...the laundry! OK, I must get off of this computer and get to work. How can I fit working out in this schedule? Ugh.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Monday Monday

I think Monday's are when I organize my brain. It's like the only moment in the week when I have complete clarity. I can see the week ahead like it a beautiful open road. I can plan what I want to do, I make lists and plans. Usually by Wednesday my list is crap, my plans have changed and that pretty open road is full of caution signs and speed bumps. But Monday...well it's clear, cool and calm.

I think instead of planning my week, I'll just plan my day. Have a cup of coffee and decide what's important and what can wait. This morning I'm looking at the calendar and I can't believe that we'll be headed to Virginia next week. WHOA. But I'm too excited/nervous/anxious/happy about that to think about it this week. Besides my normal cleaning up around here, laundry, dishes and working out schedule. I think this week I'll focus on my closet and Rylie's closet. Rylie has TONS of clothes but many in her closet will no longer fit. Which is sad to me. She's not like me and can hold onto them in hopes of fitting into them again. Nope, she'll NEVER fit into that precious little sundress she wore this spring, or that darling little bathing suit, or that teeny tiny pink striped sweater she wore on her first doctor's visit. It's just insane. I'm another story alltogether. I looooooove my pregnancy clothes. I worked so I had to have decent maternity clothes, so I have a ton. Long sleeved, casual, dressy, jeans, goes on. But I can't wear those now (obviously). And what I'm left with are my pre-pregnancy clothes. Everything that is fall/winter clothes seems like a joke. No one told me that my boobs would get bigger and stay bigger...even though I didn't nurse. So all the tops are ill fitting. And the pants. Ohhhh...the pants. I am the same weight I was before Rylie but my hips...they're not. Ugh. Will they ever be? Who knows? OK, this is depressing. Oh...and b/c I'm A.D.D. Regis and Kelly are on and WHOA does she have guns. I mean, I like muscule tone on a woman but her arms are bordering on scary.

OK, enough talk...err....type. Time to get off of this computer and start my week. I'm gung ho! Don't get in my way folks!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

So, I've got a theory....

So. I have a theory. As soon as you become a parent you tap into super powers. Call me crazy if you want. I know we are all human, but I think that to be a parent (a good parent) you have to at least believe you posess magical powers. You can call it confidence, mojo, magic, super strength, whatever, but it helps you get through.

In 2 1/2 weeks we're making the looooooong 9 hour drive to Virginia for Rylie's first visit to what is the closest thing to her Daddy's hometown. Sure, he's lived more places than most Army brats, but Roanoke is probably more home to him than anywhere else. We always go up at this time of year, but it's a hard trip when it's just the two of us. We've debated for a few weeks now if we should go or not. Especially since Rylie barely slept when we went to Florida for 3 days. But I think we should go (and we are). We're parents. We can handle anything, right? Maybe, selfishly I just want to go to Roanoke for the reasons I love it. I love the cool air, the "granola" influence, the best darn coffee on the planet (Mill Mountain). I love that we get to see my Momily-in-law and experience the her amazing cooking. I love the dear friends that I've inherited that we visit while we're there. I love going to the downtown farmers market and going in the the shops downtown. And the food....we don't eat at a single food chain the whole time we're there. So maybe, selfishly, I want to go for me. But I want Rylie, even at 8 months, to experience the things I love about where Jason is from.

So step out of the way Wonder Woman...there is a new super hero in town! Super Eternal Optimist Mama is here to the rescue and will make sure we make this first trek to Roanoke a trip we won't forget (and in a GOOD way). I'll use my weapons of preparation, confidence and patience to save the day when we start getting a little stressed. Hey, I'm a parent, I can handle anything, right?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Monday Factoids

So in an attempt to get my thoughts on paper...err...or on the screen....these are factoids. Where I'm am right now at the beginning of my week.

1. Rylie is the master of fighting sleep. If they had an award for fighting sleep...she'd win. Some of her tactics for staying awake are:

  • Making a mean face when her eyes start to roll around and then grin at me.

  • Impressing and annoying me with her new "gah", "blah", and "gra" sounds.

  • Sleepily finding her mouth with her little fingers and chewing on her hand.

  • Doing push ups, on me.

2. I want it to feel like fall here SO badly that I'm coming up with ways to be festive. This week I plan on making Chocolate Chip Pumpkin Muffins and possibly coming up with a craft project with fall leaves. I know Rylie is only 8 months old, but we can still craft, right?

3. This morning, after reading the winner's list from the Emmy's last night, I realized that I barely watch primetime tv. Sure, I'll dvr Grey's Anatomy or I'm slightly getting into The Biggest Loser...but I don't have a clue about any of the shows that won. If it comes on after Rylie goes to bed, I really don't watch it.

4. Rylie has 5, yes 5 Halloween outfits already. Well technically she has 4, one is ordered from Etsy and on it's way. Is this normal? I mean she can only wear them for a month and never again. Lord willing either we'll have another girl or Amy (twin sis) will have one eventually. Can you say rotten?

5. Looking down at my baby last night I realized that motherhood is just intense. Intense love and affection for this little person and sometimes intense frustration and impatience...or maybe that's just me. I'm just realizing that emotions seem to be more intense when she's involved.

OK, those are my thoughts this Monday morning. I feel good that they're out there and in print. I know it's going to be a great week.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Where do the weekends go?

Dinner with family, check out twin sister and tall bro-in-law's new house, coffee with family, bed. That was Friday night. Saturday we did housework (husband did graduate class homework), then to Alabama for a wedding shower, home, bed. Today I thought we'd take it easy but honestly after the weekend is over we can rest. We go ALL weekend long. Rylie gets off of her schedule, we, of course, wake up by 6:30am every morning. I'm exhausted. Is it so wrong that I long for Monday sometimes? I like the fact that I know after Rylie goes down for her morning nap that I can eat breakfast, have more coffee, get my Shred on and take a shower before she gets up (Lord willing). I can get a few loads of laundry done, maybe even a special project...which tomorrow will packing up most of Rylie's clothes that she can no longer wear. Don't get me wrong. My absolute favorite thing about the weekends? My husband. All the time I get to spend with him seems sinful....and I can't get enough of him, even after 3 1/2 years. Call me crazy....but bring on the week!